Don't drink shitty coffee

Jon and Kay

My family stayed in ten places in the three weeks following the Palisades Fires. Eleven if you count an unfortunate offer of a home that was…suboptimal for a traumatized family to stay. But that’s a story for another post.

I make coffee for Nina and me every morning, enjoying a morning ritual we’ve had since Aidan was born almost 21 years ago. Good beans run through a good grinder and then transferred to a good machine and finally into coffee mugs from places we’ve loved.

This ritual changed to grabbing what was available at the hotel or around the corner. There were some nice moments of walking with Nina and the dog to grab a morning coffee while exploring all these different neighborhoods. But for the most part our routines and rituals remained disrupted for weeks.

Enter Jon.

I didn’t know him well, having been introduced only a few months prior. He didn’t know my family. I’m not sure Jon’s wife, Kay, knew we existed.

But Jon was one of the first people to call me asking how he could help. Jon knows how to operate in challenging, dynamic environments. He knows how to build and make things. He also knows the importance of creating a space for your family to be safe and secure.

Jon called me asking specific questions about what he anticipated we might need: do we need a place to stay, to move or store our stuff? Did I have access to good coffee or a way to make it?

He asked me that question the day we moved from one Airbnb to another Airbnb, and that morning I tried to make coffee only to have an old drip machine cascade light brown water across some very small countertops and onto the floor.

Jon roasted two bags of beans for us (he knows how to make stuff) and brought them over with a grinder and pour-over device. He taught me to make it correctly. And he gave me a way to care for myself and my wife the next morning.

related-aside: another John - John Weir, founder of Beacon Coffee, also brought us coffee from his amazing operation in Ventura. end of related-aside, back to the other Jon.

Over the next weeks Jon and Kay continued supporting us - they stored bags of stuff so we didn’t have to move it continually; they brought us clothing (Kay is a fashion vet, driving sustainability and circularity into the industry); they came by to spend time with us and showed love to my son and daughter. Jon was at our place during one of the most emotional moments we’ve had in the last years. Their dog gave me a ton of love.

Jon gave me opportunities to share what I was feeling and experiencing. He listened well. But he also shared his own opinions and reactions to the fires. Conversations with Jon allowed me to explore how I was feeling…but helped me not spiral continually into sadness. He would ask questions and discuss stuff rather than just sympathizing. We probably talked as much about high school sports (his son’s basketball and my daughter’s soccer) as much as we did the fires.

Reflecting on conversations with Jon made me think of a recent 10% Happier podcast episode recently considering how to support others that are going through big emotional challenges…worth a listen.

Friendship doesn’t require years to establish. It requires intention and care for one another; it requires a willingness to be open and accept openness from another; it requires effort over time; it requires showing up when you can; it requires mutuality and honesty.

It probably doesn’t require great coffee…though that helps.

Second related-aside: we run a coffee gathering with my company SidePorch. No agenda or asks, just solid humans starting a day together. Here’s an overview of its origin - please let me know if you’d want to be added to the invite list.